Wrong, but Funny, but Terribly Terribly Wrong

Anyone who knows me well enough (and anyone who bothers to read this blog) is well aware my sense of humor is about 180 degrees off of center.  Hence….wrong cookie.  You’re not supposed to laugh, but you do anyway.  My sense of humor goes something like this:

So a while back they had Biggest Loser auditions at the YMCA.  The (then) frozen foods manager at the Food Lion next door to the YMCA didn’t know this until I told him, to which he replied, “So that’s why the ice cream freezer got cleared out so fast and I’d just put in the new order.”

I’d have hated to see the bakery section….

And, I got this in an email and just about died laughing.

How To Properly Waste Time On The Interwebz

Make cat macros at icanhascheezeburger.com like I do.

Savor teh noms

I no think he's playin

lolz  once u pop u can't stop

next time it'll be  ur kneecaps

Thinking Of Retiring?

My dad received one of those information pamphlets in the mail from the social security administration.  As we’re all sitting at the table eating dinner, he’s reading the pamphlet, then he starts reading it aloud:

“If you retire early, you may not have enough income to enjoy the years ahead of you.  Likewise, if you retire late, you’ll have a larger income, but fewer years to enjoy it…So do your patriotic duty and just die.”

I nearly choked on spaghetti.  People wonder where I get my morbid sense of humor and all I can do is point at my dad and laugh.

Kitty Treehouse

Trouble, for once, is not in trouble.  Roxy is the kitty in the hot seat at the house right now.  She’s literally climbing the walls!!!

This is a problem because she still has claws (no, I’m not going to have her declawed) and she’s tearing the wallpaper off.  This is my solution to the problem:

XL Kitty Treehouse

It’s 77″ and 144lbs of climbing kitty funness….or at least it better be.

Terry Jones & “Burn The Koran Day”

Satellite image of the Middle East

Image via Wikipedia

If you haven’t heard, this guy, Terry Jones wants to have some “Burn The Koran Day” on 9/11.

You idiot…why not just have a group of your devoted congregation members go to the middle east and have them take flying lessons.  Then they can fly two planes into Mecca, one into Medina, and let another crash somewhere in the Arabian Dessert.  It would be both vengeful and poignant.

I’m in agreement that we shouldn’t take shit from Islamic Extremists, but Jones is an extremist.

Who Is Terry Jones? Pastor Behind ‘Burn a Koran Day’

If people across the globe think all Americans and Christians are like this Jones douche bag, it’s no wonder they hate us so much.

Random Stuff That Makes Me LOL For No Reason

Perhaps it’s my weird sense of humor and the fact that icanhascheezburger.com won’t let me log into my profile and won’t send me my new password via email.  Weird youtube videos it is:

Tropical Storm Hermione?

Harry Potter (character)

Image via Wikipedia

Read the headline.

Thought, “Sweet, they named a storm after a Harry Potter character.”

Read the headline again.

“Oh.”

Tropical Storm Hermine Forms in Gulf

Yes, I totally thought Tropical Storm Hermine was Tropical Storm Hermione.

Geekgasms should not be allowed before I’ve been properly caffeinated in the morning…

Red, White, and Blues

But It Is Patriotism

Image by B Tal via Flickr

It seems that every time some sort of American holiday is close by on the calendar (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Veteran’s Day) stories about people being asked to remove the American flag begin popping up in conservative media outlets.  This is the most recent one that I’ve seen:

Colorado Student Says He Was Told to Remove U.S. Flags

If someone ever asked me to take down my American flag, I’d ask them for their green card.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

You know you love it. ;)

Nerdisms

When I thought I couldn’t get any nerdier, a friend at work reminded me that I could indeed exceed my own expectations of uncoolness.

To quote:

Jemma: blah blah blah GM blah blah blah

Me: Did you just say DM?

Jemma: GM, General Manager.

Me: Oh, thought you said DM.  I was about to be all like “OMG, Jemma, you play Dungeons and Dragons?!?”

Jemma: DM stands for District Manager in the real world.

Me: …oh…

I rolled a d1, everybody scatter….

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