All The Rage
February 16, 2012 1 Comment
I got rejected…again.
Dude, Wrong Number
February 14, 2012 Leave a comment
It’s some universal rule that whenever I receive a “wrong number” call, it’s not a sincerely apologetic person who actually made a mistake. No, I get the belligerent a-holes. The last wrong call I got went something like this:
*phone rings*
Me: Hello?
Dude: Heeeeyyyy, wassup? Did you forget about me?
Me: What?
Dude: Did you forget about me?
Me: Who is this?
Dude: You know who.
Me: No…I don’t.
Dude: Aww, you really did forget about me.
Me: I can’t forget you if I don’t know who you are. Who is this?
Dude: This is [dude's name].
Me: I don’t know anybody named [dude's name].
Dude: [laughing] You for -
Me: YOU have the wrong number.
*hang up*
…always the weird ones…
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Thinking Of Retiring?
September 10, 2010 Leave a comment
My dad received one of those information pamphlets in the mail from the social security administration. As we’re all sitting at the table eating dinner, he’s reading the pamphlet, then he starts reading it aloud:
“If you retire early, you may not have enough income to enjoy the years ahead of you. Likewise, if you retire late, you’ll have a larger income, but fewer years to enjoy it…So do your patriotic duty and just die.”
I nearly choked on spaghetti. People wonder where I get my morbid sense of humor and all I can do is point at my dad and laugh.
Terry Jones & “Burn The Koran Day”
September 8, 2010 Leave a comment
Image via Wikipedia
If you haven’t heard, this guy, Terry Jones wants to have some “Burn The Koran Day” on 9/11.
You idiot…why not just have a group of your devoted congregation members go to the middle east and have them take flying lessons. Then they can fly two planes into Mecca, one into Medina, and let another crash somewhere in the Arabian Dessert. It would be both vengeful and poignant.
I’m in agreement that we shouldn’t take shit from Islamic Extremists, but Jones is an extremist.
Who Is Terry Jones? Pastor Behind ‘Burn a Koran Day’
If people across the globe think all Americans and Christians are like this Jones douche bag, it’s no wonder they hate us so much.
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Red, White, and Blues
September 5, 2010 Leave a comment
Image by B Tal via Flickr
It seems that every time some sort of American holiday is close by on the calendar (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Veteran’s Day) stories about people being asked to remove the American flag begin popping up in conservative media outlets. This is the most recent one that I’ve seen:
Colorado Student Says He Was Told to Remove U.S. Flags
If someone ever asked me to take down my American flag, I’d ask them for their green card.
I Don’t Care About The Emmys
August 29, 2010 Leave a comment
Image via Wikipedia
Really. I don’t care that Glee had19 nominations. I don’t care if Jane Lynch won Oustanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy series. I don’t care that 30 Rock didn’t get anything. I don’t care that the 63rd Annual Tony Awards won the Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Special award. And! I don’t care that I had to go to the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences website to download the PDF list of all the winners because I didn’t actually watch the Emmys!
Why? Because.
And, because a little gold statue doesn’t mean anything. Yes, some of these programs may be cleverly written and the actors may give solid performances, but who really watches a television show because the writer, or director, or actor, has a Emmy statuette knickknack collecting dust on a shelf somewhere?
There are at least 500 channels of available television programming at any given moment in the average American household, but there is never anything good on. That’s probably why we all change the channel so much.
Emmy nominated or not, the show just has to not suck bad enough that we stop channel surfing long enough to actually watch something.
Snow Reason For This…Again
February 10, 2010 Leave a comment
moar funny pictures
It was snowing again when I went in to work today. So tired of all this cold weather.
